Blank Sheet of Paper

In 2008, I gained quite a few more pregnant and engaged acquaintances from high school. I lost a little confidence in something that I was once so sure of. I stopped writing in my journal half way through the year. I started being a bit more honest with myself. I was hugely satisfied by his announcement that he was trying to go back to school. And frustrated by his lack of confidence in other areas of his life. I am so embarrassed that I sang with him in the car that one day. Once again, I got excited for something that didn’t happen. Once again, I did not finish the story. The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is my smile. I think it disappeared for a while this past year. The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is my outlook for the future. I loved spending time laying in the sun over summer. Why did I spend even two minutes thinking that he would have remembered that? I should have spent more t

I think it's because I thought about you today at work. Because I told a story about you. Because while I did all of this, I was smiling. I didn't get mad. I didn't get teary. I smiled . I missed those times a little, sure, I always will while I'm there, but I smiled, and I meant it, and I'm glad you're happy. Happy New Year. There must be a reason We first got together There must have been a reason We used to talk forever It's hard to see now Cause it's easier to think of what went wrong I could keep pointin' fingers I could stay mad as hell Just let my anger linger But as far as I can tell I've just got to let it go If I wanna move on So I'll think about how you made me laugh Not think about how you made me cry Think about how we both swore We'd love each other 'till we died Forget about who's to blame Just remember your smilin' face Well it's a choice I've had to make So I'll think about you that way Seems

I'm most DEFINITELY ready for 2008 to be over and for 2009 to begin! 1. Make 2009 better than 2008. (Duh, of course, we all want to make our lives better.) 2. Don't work any more than is absolutely necessary at my job. (But I'm sure a little more work and effort wouldn't kill me at school - -maybe.) 3. Attempt to go to church more often. (I've been playing with the idea on and off again, and I can't decided. Maybe if it goes well I'll make my confirmation eventually. I couldn't tell you though. With this one it's a wait and see, and go from there.) 4. Go to at least 2 Cubs games. (Woo-hoo!) 5. Lay out in the sun this summer. (Take a road trip or something too. Nothing too crazy, but just take a long weekend and GO.) 6. Read and write for myself more. 7. Work on that whole "communication" thing. 8. Work out more. Or actually start . (I don't need to lose any weight or anything, but when spring break comes around and I s

1. You’re a slut 2. You’re an IBNAB 3. I don’t trust you 4. You lie to your friends 5. You’re a bad liar 6. You aren’t all that pretty 7. You’re an artist 8. You drive a stupid car 9. You go to the dumb school 10. You’re a stupid drunk 11. I’m pretty sure there’s a little piece of the devil in your eyes 12. I think you have borderline personality disorder 13. You’re one of those people who think your life is “so hard” 14. You have a lame job 15. Your favorite baseball team sucks 16. You remind me of her 17. You disregard other’s feelings 18. You don’t think before you act 19. You’re a cheater 20. You’re crazy - -not in a good way, either 21. That look you tossed the first time I met you 22. The way you said you knew him better than I did 23. The late night phone calls 24. You tried it 25. And the list goes on…..

With the exception of 1.5 people, I AM DONE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! This has NEVER happened to me before!