Blank Sheet of Paper

For me, Memorial Day will always be the day of excruciating heat, sitting across from one another at a booth eating cheese fries, walking in the woods and asking questions about the far away future, watching Ace Ventura and paint balling and then taking a catnap because we couldn't really pay that much attention to paint balling, and then the night of me mentally beating myself for not screaming YES! when the chance first proposed itself. It is for those reasons, and those alone, that Memorial Day has held a special place in my mind, and heart, for a year now. Don't worry though, there will be no mental beatings on myself tonight ;-)

"Why don't you just tell me?" "Because you should just know ." There are some things, like it or not, that we are expected to know *snap* like that. No questions asked. No raising of eyebrows. No blinking. No thinking. No nothing. You're just suppose to know . It's not the greatest thing ever, to be expected to just know things, but should some things really have to be voiced? Mixed answers, I know. In some situations, yes, a reply is definitely needed, but in others.... you should just know.

I'm done with high school. Let me say it again for you: I'm done with high school. It's a weird feeling. Okay, maybe not that weird, but on our last day I don't think that my boyfriend and his friend could have gotten me out of the field house any faster, yet even in the back of my mind I think I thought it was weird. Don't I owe a good-bye to this place? A thanks maybe? Maybe even a few fuck yous? The answer is, I do - - To all of the above, actually. That building has seen a lot of me the past few years: Me unbelievably happy - -like Cloud Nine happy (have you ever wonder what's so special about Nine?); Me unbelievably pissed to the point that I actually felt my body temperature rise, my blood boil; Me lost and battered to the floor; And even me smacking some sense into myself to say Get up off the damn floor, Kozak . I don't think it's sunk in yet - -at least not fully. I realize that I'm done, and I am grateful, but I'm not quite read