My birthday is coming up quick. Two weeks. I can't believe it myself, I mean, I remember teasing you before I started school, asking what you were going to get me. Ha, your answer now is relatively the same as it was then, just a little more mysterious. Truth be told, a part of me just wants to skip it, my birthday, I mean. It has nothing to do with being a year older, I've accepted that fact already, that my youth is slowly slipping away, but instead I admit that I'm afraid my birthday will bring back a stream of not-so-pleasant memories from a year ago. It may seem silly, it probably is silly, but the thought is still there, that 'What If?' Now I admit it's not true, I don't actually believe it, but I also didn't believe in a lot of things a year ago, and I was ultimately surprised. It's not that I don't look forward to the occasion holistically either, it's just that I wish this year won't leave me another year older and more b...
You want to do it... You need to do it.... But something's holding you back and for the life of you you don't know what it is and not doing it is causing you all of this pain that you can't seem to get rid of but you can't bring yourself to do it because what if that somehow makes everything worse? Have you ever experienced anything like that?
I'm done with high school. Let me say it again for you: I'm done with high school. It's a weird feeling. Okay, maybe not that weird, but on our last day I don't think that my boyfriend and his friend could have gotten me out of the field house any faster, yet even in the back of my mind I think I thought it was weird. Don't I owe a good-bye to this place? A thanks maybe? Maybe even a few fuck yous? The answer is, I do - - To all of the above, actually. That building has seen a lot of me the past few years: Me unbelievably happy - -like Cloud Nine happy (have you ever wonder what's so special about Nine?); Me unbelievably pissed to the point that I actually felt my body temperature rise, my blood boil; Me lost and battered to the floor; And even me smacking some sense into myself to say Get up off the damn floor, Kozak . I don't think it's sunk in yet - -at least not fully. I realize that I'm done, and I am grateful, but I'm not quite read...
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