Blank Sheet of Paper

Don't worry, I do.

Because in my head, I actually know that 25,000 x 4 =100,000. But instead, I like to pretend that it equals 250,000. Oh-well.

How much do I dish out for school a year? Huh? Huh? Do you know? $22,000.00 - -that's how much. I dish out nearly a quarter of a million, quarter of a million , dollars a year, and what does the government give me back for that sweet ass payment? $294.00 Suck ass.

Two years ago, you and I were making plans to party hop on new years eve and do something ridiculous to celebrate your birthday. This year, you and I haven't seen one another outside of work for nearly six months and I'm not sure when I'll see you again. It's not fair that we grew up so much and so far apart in those two years, but I'm going to wish you a happy birthday anyway. You're still the coolest kid on the block ;-)

If I say no, then I'm the bitchy, untrusting girlfriend. But if I say yes, then I'm just condoning the bad behavior.

In 2008, I gained quite a few more pregnant and engaged acquaintances from high school. I lost a little confidence in something that I was once so sure of. I stopped writing in my journal half way through the year. I started being a bit more honest with myself. I was hugely satisfied by his announcement that he was trying to go back to school. And frustrated by his lack of confidence in other areas of his life. I am so embarrassed that I sang with him in the car that one day. Once again, I got excited for something that didn’t happen. Once again, I did not finish the story. The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is my smile. I think it disappeared for a while this past year. The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is my outlook for the future. I loved spending time laying in the sun over summer. Why did I spend even two minutes thinking that he would have remembered that? I should have spent more t...

I think it's because I thought about you today at work. Because I told a story about you. Because while I did all of this, I was smiling. I didn't get mad. I didn't get teary. I smiled . I missed those times a little, sure, I always will while I'm there, but I smiled, and I meant it, and I'm glad you're happy. Happy New Year. There must be a reason We first got together There must have been a reason We used to talk forever It's hard to see now Cause it's easier to think of what went wrong I could keep pointin' fingers I could stay mad as hell Just let my anger linger But as far as I can tell I've just got to let it go If I wanna move on So I'll think about how you made me laugh Not think about how you made me cry Think about how we both swore We'd love each other 'till we died Forget about who's to blame Just remember your smilin' face Well it's a choice I've had to make So I'll think about you that way Seems...