Blank Sheet of Paper

It should be this easy.

In 2007, I gained a first year college experience (including a major). I lost contact with some (good) friends. I stopped stressing about the little things - -For the most part anyway. I started to plan ahead in life. I was hugely satisfied by acing my first semester ;-) And frustrated by a certain individual who sometimes confused the hell out of me. I am so embarrassed that I still find my thoughts wandering back to a year ago and then some.... Once again, I plotted evil against others. Once again, I did not say exactly what I meant. The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is nothing, really. But I will be getting contacts in a week! The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is my outlook on the world and the people in it (at least those I know, anyway.) I loved spending time with cute little nieces and nephews and my friends. Why did I spend even two minutes thinking that he could have missed me? ...

One of my sisters posted this blog that reminded me of this video. It's sad and loving and wishful all at the same time. Enjoy.

There comes a time in every person's life where they have to make a decision. An important decision. I cannot stress its importance well enough. THIS or THAT? What's your choice? THIS or THAT? Pick now. Pick quickly. But don't mess up. It is this situation where people find themselves torn. Both options have their pros and cons, and while one option has a more predictable outcome, you're not quite convinced that you want that option. But of course, all this time you know which one you are going to pick. You know which one you are going to pick, but it's the voicing of it that takes you so much time, because, once you voice it, it's permanent. And it's really that permanence that you're not sure of.

That's what they say, you know. Just leave them be. But I can't just leave them be- it's not my nature.

I don't really have much to blog about right now. Or maybe I really do, and I am just reluctant to share it with the world. I am, however, cold, and slightly annoyed. Maybe a little bit more than annoyed. Can someone tell me what specifically it is with boys and their toys?

When I find myself talking about the past, I feel the need to emphasize the different meanings of the word "before." There is before and then there is BEFORE. Before refers to the time before this time. Before the feelings of resentment and confusion came to light. Before I felt my body temperature physically rise. Before I cursed you out to others. Before I plotted. Before I could tell you anything. Before , also known as the first time. And then there is BEFORE. BEFORE I was a little unsure, but I still wanted it, so it was okay. BEFORE I had to watch my step with what I told you. BEFORE I asked you those questions I probably shouldn't have. BEFORE, also known as the early times of this time. It may seem silly, to classify things this way, but they're different. Before and BEFORE are different than just before. Because things were different then than they are now and will be. They're different, and those before's will never be the sa...