Blank Sheet of Paper

There is always one thing that you can never quite let go. You might tell yourself that you're fine with this one thing, that you've come to terms with it, but it's still buried somewhere in the back of your mind. Chances are it's buried underneath the laundry, dinner, reading, and essay that you have to write before you can even begin to think about the mess tomorrow is going to bring, but it's there. Yes, it's there, and it's slowly itching its way to the top of your mental list. There's a little thing that's been itching at me lately. I could have sworn that I was okay with it, or as okay as I was going to get with it, but it was brought up again the other night. I lashed out through my words (elsewhere though), and I felt good - -better. But then I reread that thing the other night and I couldn't help but think: I'm a horrible person. I didn't know I could be that hateful, that I could be that wrong about... well, everything. ...

Life gets a little insane sometimes, this is a fact. And in my experience, it just so happens that all of the madness comes at once. IE the month of February. (Oh, silly February.) It took me a while to realize (or at least admit to) the reasons why I dislike the month so much. There are reasons, yes, very good ones too, mind you. There are secrets in February. There are tears in February. And despite how much I may have tried to fight it, there is also love in February (and I mean love beyond the love that shows up on the 14th of the month). I am lucky to have certain individuals in my life. The people who let me complain about my loathsome feelings toward February. The people who know me a little more than I know myself and will show up just to say "Hello. I love you." I like those people. They make me wonder about February sometimes. It's still not my favorite month by any stretch, but at least those people make it a little bit sweeter. So I'm upgra...

And then she realized, "Oh yes, I am in love."

I heard a ghost of your voice Long after you had left the room Couldn't quite make out the words But the laugh was unmistakably you How will I ever get the sound Of you out of my head? I guess that I should only be... So lucky And I saw my shadow next to yours Slowly fade away And I saw my shadow next to yours Just fade away We had this conversation So many times before And I know that you are tired Of the same questions but maybe If I keep asking them The sounds from your mouth Will form words that I want to hear And I saw my shadow next to yours Slowly fade away And I saw my shadow next to yours Just fade away - The Submarines

As Ann wandered around her restaurant, she was relieved to see people smiling and laughing, holding their never ending drinks in their hand. If nothing else, she figured she could always make the income by the bar. “Ann.” She turned at the sound of her name. Shaking hands was a necessity at her opening, but she was tiring of the same action and conversation as every prosperous person in town introduced themselves individually. When she saw who was waiting for her though her hand fell back to her side and she attempted a shaky smile. “Jason…” “Look, Ann, I know that this is the last place you want to see me. I mean, your premiere… Wow. I always knew you said you wanted your own restaurant… And the Sapphire -” “Red Sapphire,” she corrected him. His cheeks reddened slightly, but he gave a small smile. “Of course. You said that that’s what you wanted to name it. Your birthstone and your favorite color… I have to admit,” he looked around, “it looks like a success.” “Thanks.” A sho...

I have always been a forgiver, it's simply a part of who I am. You do something bad, you're forgiven, here's your second or third or fourth or whatever number chance you are on with me. I forgive . I forgive, but I don't forget - -no matter how hard I may try to. I realized this today more so than I have any other time in my past. I forgive a lot of people, admittedly some people who probably don't deserve to be forgiven, but I still do it. Today though, I wondered if I even managed forgiveness with a certain individual. Now let me clarify that this individual technically never did anything purposefully directed to me, and yet, I feel that I need to forgive them. The only problem is, I realized that I haven't forgiven this person. Worse yet, I realized that I will likely never forgive them. And I tried to make myself believe otherwise, I tried to smile in this individual's general direction, I tried to avoid it even, and yet my smile manged to fal...